September 04, 2008

Things To Do While Watching John McCain's Acceptance Speech

You Make the Call:

  • Cindy McCain bobbing forward and backward in her seat: secretly Jewish and davening or just heavily medicated?
  • Piper Palin spit-licking her fingers and patting baby Trig's head: spontaneous baptism or a revenge loogey for being so special and stealing the spotlight away from her!
  • That black guy with the McCain-Palin button: Actor's Equity or Event Production Intern

On-Screen Treasure Hunt:

  • Find a silly hat, a white dude with padding around the middle and a senior (male/female) with an 'O' face listening attentively to John McCain's biography
  • Find a handmade poster, a gum-chewing hockey player and a good reconstructive dentist for Rudy Guiliani

Chug at These Mentions:

  • "My friends"
  • "Taxes"
  • "Country First"
  • "Surge"


Sip Chablis at These Motions:

  • Stop/start/stop/start smile
  • Arm(s) lift above 40 degrees
  • Chuckles to self


Discuss:

  • Can Levi Johnston be brought up on statutory rape charges and if so, is the GOP harboring a fugitive?
  • Is it disrespectful or exclusionary to do the wave in John McCain's presence?
Sep 4, 2008 8:27:54 PM

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